I like Fig Newtons all right. Some cookies I like better, but fig newtons are all right. They have a nice cakey cookie outside and a fruity/mealey inside. Probably they are figs that have been blended and then wrapped with a cookie dough. Maybe I like them because they are like eating figs but easier because they have a cookie coating that protects your hands from getting figgy.

I live in San Francisco, a place where Winter means rain. Spring is Sunny, Summer is Foggy, Fall is Sunny, and Winter in Rainy. Ants (little black crawly things that are about the size of a grain of rice) really like living outside, except in the winter when they ALL move inside. This winter (2004-2005) they moved into my kitchen after the first rain. I woke up in the morning and didn't notice them, but I did notice that someone had left some tastey fig newtons on the counter for me. I was still groggy from sleep, but not to groggy to put a whole fig newton in my mouth. I usually eat them in one bit, chew chew chew, enjoy the taste and texture, then swallow the yummy treat. First fig... tastey! Second fig... tastey... but... I noticed a sensation I wasn't expecting. The grogginess of sleep quickly lifted, and there I was, in the dark kitchen on the morning of the first rain in San Francisco, chewing my third fig newton, and noticing the remaining fig newtons covered with ants.

Fig Newtons on their own are a bit mealey. When they are covered with ants, they are extra mealey. What would I do? There must have been hundreds of ants in my mouth. I don't like eating ants, but I knew I would never be able to satisfactorily spit them all out, and besides, what a mess spitting would make. I chewed! I did the best to crush and grind them them with my molars, and as quickly as possible because I didn't like the sensation of their crawling. The ants added an unpleasant flavor to that batch of fig newtons. The remaining fig newtons were discarded (should I have tried to salvage them?).